Thanks to the school administration...at least a day's gap is there in between each exam, otherwise it would be .....beyond imagination!!
Today, after a brief nap when I sat with him and his books, he was not able to answer a single question properly. I should have been prepared for this shock.
Then what did he do? I thought hard...still was not able to recall. Now , I was angry with myself...what kind of mother am I? I cannot even take care of one child, how will I cope when both will need help...now, the guilt feeling creeped in...
This has become every day's story...Every time I resolute to perform better, the worse I am than before...some thing inside me was very upset, and I needed to do something.
I sat down with a pen and a paper, and noted down activities of the day...
Morning...when I was leaving for the department, I had asked him to brush teeth and take bath...at that time he laid leisurely on sofa with his 'POGO' TV channel.
After an hour, when I had to come back to take lecture notes, he was still with POGO...
I had given him some snacks and again left giving him some more instructions.
During lunch break when I was back at home, he still needed bath, but I didn't pay heed, as some thing else prevailed my mind.
In short, I was simply not to be blamed...and now, my direction of thoughts diverted towards my husband...I could find no fault in him as he was doing his best for everyone...Right from the morning till at night I never saw him complaining, ready to fit in any role...his contribution cannot be questioned...apart from certain silly mistakes which he does in the kitchen...like, he'll make tea but will forget to put lid on the container...many other things which should be taken for granted...
I controlled my frustration and tried to console myself, still the whole evening is there...I'll do my best...
It was EVS (Environmental Sciences) exam...it seems to be mixture of Social-Studies and Science subjects of our times. I remember vividly that when I was in third standard, I used to sit in a corner and learn my lessons loudly many times till I felt confident enough to go and tell my parents. I wish my son also did the same...but it's not his fault...I don't give him even 50 percent of time what my parents did. Moreover, mere presence of mother at home makes a difference. Sometimes, I yearn to be at home, to be with my children, play a full mother's role...By the time I'm writing these notes, I'm at peace...he knows his answers and I think will write with minimal spelling mistakes. The moment has changed making me feel happy that yes, I can do both the jobs...its tiring, seems difficult...but is not invincible...
Oh yes, I've to wake him up early morning to revise again before leaving for school.Life need not be perfect...Good Night!
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